Potter's Payback
by peng8noodles
Summary: Draco Malfoy had better tread carefully, because Harry Potter's determined to make him fall and lose everything. And what is a Malfoy without his riches? HUGE cast, based loosely on Ocean's 11. Full summary inside. Enjoy.


FULL SUMMARY: After the inevitable Final War with Voldemort, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was finally dead, courtesy of the amazing kicking-butt-of-the-bad-guys of Harry Potter, and the wizarding world rejoiced. Now came the task of rebuilding the magical community. Surprisingly, Draco Malfoy, pureblooded git extraordinaire and somehow-turned-good-guy-along-the-way, donated the most time, effort, AND money (gasp!) to the task, in hopes of redeeming his family name. Everyone was now smitten with the man, although Harry did not see how that was possible. And, to make things even more annoying, even with the huge chunk taken out of his family's fortune for the sake of witches and wizards everywhere, he still ended up as the wizarding AND muggle world's sexiest, richest, most eligible bachelor due to his highly successful chain of hotels and companies. Draco Malfoy had absolutely EVERYTHING. So why did he have to take Cho from Harry? After having managed to steal Harry's girl AND land Harry in a muggle prison at the same time, Harry decides that Malfoy is going to pay. Big time. And by the time Harry and all the others that Malfoy's wronged over the course of his life are through with him, Malfoy will be utterly humiliated, and missing the things he loves most. And what to do Malfoys love best ? Why, their riches, of course. But little does Harry know, Malfoy is smarter than he looks…

A/N: Harry Potter and all things Potter-related belong to JK Rowling.

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CHAPTER 1- Fast Cars and Pissed off Women

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"Hermione, how do I look?"

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Hermione Granger sighed in exasperation as Harry Potter stood on the sidewalk next to her car and inquired about his appearance for what literally felt like the hundredth time that evening. She closed her eyes and rested her head on the steering wheel of her small Volkswagen Cabrio. "Harry, you look FINE." Then, sensing that he was still unsure, she sat up and gave him a tired grin. "You look…SMASHING." Harry looked at her again with a doubtful expression on his face. Hermione quickly added an "Honestly!" for good measure.

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Harry shook his head dejectedly and checked how he looked yet again in the car window; Hermione didn't exactly have the best fashion sense, and since he was aiming to impress that night, he didn't quite trust her judgement. While Harry was fussing over his hair, Hermione lazily shot a sleepy glance at the clock on her dashboard.

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She blinked. And blinked again. Finally, comprehension hit her like a bludger and she sat bolt upright in her seat.

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"Oh Harry, you great prat! It's half an hour to seven, and I have to be there in about ten minutes to help set up their equipment because the Weasley's are all so bloody DAFT about muggle electronics or they'll be so bloody furious with me and then Fred and George will prank my arse off…" Hermione paused mid-rant, took a breath, and muttered, "Well, maybe Ginny's not so daft…" She shook her head furiously and picked up right where she had left off. "WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE!" she shrieked. Hermione frantically leaned over as far as her seat belt would allow and attempted to push Harry forward. She failed miserably, but continued to yell with much vigor. "STOP BLOODY PREENING YOURSELF AND GO GET YOUR GIRL!"

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Harry paused and gave Hermione an indignant look. "Hermione, I've been dating Cho Chang for nearly a year, and you STILL refuse to acknowledge her-"

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"Just go get her, or I swear upon Snape in a pink frilly tutu and all things equally as horrid and disturbing, you WILL be left here, both you and CHO-" She spat the name out like it was a nasty cough syrup. "- will be WALKING to the show if the both of you are not down in-" She glanced at the clock. "-exactly four minutes! Go on, Potter, go on!"

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Harry bristled at this command but decided to stay silent. An angry Hermione was not something to be messed with. Giving her a mock salute, he looked himself over in the car window once more ("Come on, Harry, you'll knock her senseless," he thought encouragingly to himself.), and proceeded to sprint towards the entrance of Cho's flat. He entered the two-story, red brick building and took the stairs two at a time, ran down a dimly lit corridor, and around a corner-

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SMACK!

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-and ran right into a red door with a loud thud. Harry's legs gave way and he collapsed onto the floor, holding his head and trying to blink away the pain and the multitudes of winking stars now invading his vision. Stars that seemed to be winking mockingly at him. Harry groaned and tried to stand up, but collapsed in front of the door on the poorly carpeted floor. He lifted his head and could now hear a muffled voice coming from the inside.

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"…WHERE'S MY SHOE!?" There were sounds of things being thrown against the wall, hitting the walls will dull thuds, and of frantic footsteps. Harry tried to regain his footing again, and slowly, he was on his feet again, albeit he was still a bit dizzy. But he bravely raised his hand and knocked briskly.

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"Coming, coming, hold your horses…" Harry jumped in surprise when he heard another loud thud and a shriek of, "I'm going to kill her! Leaving her effing stockings all over the floor…"

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"Cho, are you okay?" he inquired, trying to peer into Cho's flat by way of the peephole.

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He didn't get a reply, but instead heard a mumbled, "Lip gloss, money, purse, and…wand! All ready..." Loud footsteps were approaching the door, and Harry quickly arranged himself in what he thought was a rather suave pose: the classic leaning-against-the-wall, one-leg-crossed- over-the-other-with-arms-folded-across-the-chest pose. He quickly slapped a somewhat seductive grin  on his face and said, "Hello, Cho," in what he probably assumed was a very deep and sexy voice, as the door opened.

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Cho stood in the doorway, dressed perfectly for the occasion from the top of her perfectly done up hair to the tips of her red toenails peeking out from her strappy black stiletto sandals. Her white sleeveless top showed off her pale arms quite well, and Harry absolutely could not take his eyes off of her surely way-too-short-to-be-legal plaid mini-skirt. She gave Harry a smile and a quick peck on the cheek, turned back to pull her door shut, and slipped her thin arm into Harry's.

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Harry now had a goofy grin on his face and try as he might, could not pull himself back together again as he walked with the tiny Asian beauty beside him. He finally got enough of his raging senses under control to tune in mid-girly rambling.

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"...so Marietta, you remember her, right? Well, she got all frustrated because I wasn't going with her, and I was like 'Well, I AM going with my BOYFRIEND…" Harry secretly reveled in this word and his goofy grin became goofier and slid towards near psychotic. He'd first met Cho during a Quidditch game at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw, and had been struck almost senseless by her beauty. During his fifth year, however, he was driven away due to her sensitivity and seemingly uncontrollable and unending emotional bursts. He hadn't seen hide nor hair of her since, until he had run into her by chance at a Quidditch game the past summer. He had been surprised at how much Cho had matured, and even more so at how much she wanted another chance at a relationship. Harry's heart had soared terribly high on their first date…

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"…and then she THREW her lipstick at me and was like 'You're so LUCKY to have Harry Potter as your boyfriend. The Boy-Who-Lived-To-Triumph, one of the richest young men living in the wizarding world, the most TALENTED seeker the Montrose Magpies have seen since Eunice Murray-" Harry puffed his chest out at this statement. "-and not to mention, he's absolutely gorgeous.' And I told her, I couldn't agree with her more. He is bloody gorgeous, and he's MINE." Harry smiled cheekily down at Cho and was leaning in for what was to be a most splendid kiss, when a loud, braying honk pierced his thoughts and drove the little hormones inside him into hiding. He groaned loudly.

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"Come on, come ON! It doesn't take THIS LONG to just pick someone up! Honestly…"

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Cho immediately stiffened at the voice. "We're…we're going with H-Hermione?"

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Harry nodded absentmindedly as he opened the door for Cho in a gentlemanly manner and waited for her to exit. A few seconds passed before he realized that Cho was standing on the threshold of the doorway, unmoving, as she glared at Hermione's impatient form waiting in the car. Harry tried to nudge Cho to get her going, but she abruptly fixed her smoldering gaze on him, her red lips in a pout and currently quivering.

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She flung a finger in Hermione's direction, who was now revving her engine noisily in hopes of hurrying the couple up. "Why are we going with HER? You never told me that SHE was giving us a ride."

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Harry stared at Cho quizzically. "Well, I figured since we were going to a muggle club anyways, and that Hermione was the person who jumped up first in my mind when I was thinking of people who owned cars AND that could drive properly, that we could hitch a hide with her." He took in Cho's angry demeanor. "You…you don't have a

problem with that, do you?"

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"No…not at all, Harry…" Cho took a couple of deep breaths, then turned on her heel, grabbing Harry's hand and dragging him forcefully alongside her, her black stilettos beating an angry rhythm on the pavement. While walking, she pulled his head down and whispered warningly into his ear, "Well, I've always suspected that she's got this huge crush on you. And, you know, that she'd try to make a move on you sooner or later…" Cho's eyes narrowed as they neared the tiny blue car. "She hasn't made a move on you, has she?"

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"NO, of COURSE not! Hermione's just my FRIEND, Cho. She's like a sister! Why would she ever want to make a move on me?" Harry yelled, and then quieted down when Hermione's head whipped around and glared at them.

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"About TIME you two got here!" Hermione revved the engine. "Hurry up, now, no time to dawdle, get in the car!" She gestured with her thumb to the back seat. Harry and Cho quickly jumped in onto the plush seat. Cho leaned over towards Harry as she grabbed her seat belt and whispered quickly, "Because, Harry, that girl's practically in love with you. Can't you FEEL it radiating off of her?" Cho pulled a frown. "Please, don't you EVER leave me, Harry. I don't think I'd EVER be able to go on living if you left me…"

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Harry placed a quick kiss on Cho's lips as he finished buckling his seatbelt and replied, "Don't you ever worry about that, Cho. I'd never do anything as horrible and…and unthinkable as that." He casually swung an arm around her shoulders. "Besides, Hermione's more of a sister to me, anyways. I really doubt that she has any feelings for me, besides those of friendship."

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Cho's brows furrowed slightly, but she remained silent with a forced grin on her face.

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"Oh dear, we've got five minutes to get there…" muttered Hermione. Her grip on the steering wheel tightened until her knuckles were white, and she sighed. "Well, desperate times do call for desperate measures…and I didn't get it installed for nothing…time to put it to some good use then..." She ran a hand through her short bushy ponytail, (she had finally decided to cut most of her hair off when the brown curly mass had almost strangled her in her sleep two summers ago), and took some calming breaths.

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"Are we all buckled up now? Nice and tight?" she called over her shoulder without turning around.

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"Yes," replied Harry and Cho in unison.

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"Good, good," Hermione mumbled. Then, taking a deep breath, she pushed a bright green button on her dashboard that was labeled simply as 'Lickety-split.' She then tightened her grip on the steering wheel and waited. "It'll come, it'll come," she thought nervously after a few seconds had passed in which nothing had happened. She continued to listen to the unchanged revving of her car engine, bouncing anxiously in her seat.

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Harry and Cho exchanged curious glances.

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"Er, Hermione, I though you had to hurry…?" Harry inquired

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"Just…just, wait for it, it's coming, I'm sure of it," she muttered, getting edgy. After a few more seconds in which everything stayed the same, Hermione blew. "Oh, come ON, you silly car!" she shrieked, and slammed one tiny fist onto the top of the dashboard.

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Immediately sounds began to erupt from under the hood of the car. Little clicks and whirring noises were heard, along with some metallic sounding clanks and some dull bumps and thumps. Hermione seemed to be bracing herself for something, although Harry could not imagine what it could've been. A puff of steam suddenly erupted from the tailpipe with a loud shriek, and Harry and Cho jumped in surprise. Harry was the first to recover.

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"Hermione, what is bloody going ON here?"

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He could feel the car tensing up under him, and it confused him, because he didn't know cars could tense up. There were a few more clanks before all noises from the car stopped, except for a steady rumbling that Harry could pinpoint as coming from under the car. He tried to peer over the side of the door, and that's when Hermione chose to respond. Harry didn't think it was a very proper answer to his question.

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"HANG ON TO YOUR KNICKERS!" Hermione yelled above the rumbling, which by now had reached a loud roar, and a split second after that, they were off.

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The sudden acceleration was so unexpected that all Harry could do was hold onto Cho's hand tightly as the fast speed of the car pressed them forcefully into the very backs of their seats. His eyes had snapped shut at the first burst of pressure that had hit him, and now he opened his eyes slowly, not really wanting to see what was happening, but letting his curiosity take over him.

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Harry was struck with horror as he realized that he seemed to be reliving his ride on the Knight Bus from that night that he had blown Aunt Marge up and had then fled from the Dursley's. Hermione's small car was hurtling through the streets at a breakneck speed, and he could see that she was concentrating very hard on keeping the car under control. Her hands were firmly clamped on the steering wheel and now and then she would give it a firmly turn it, avoiding a tree or another car. Lampposts, mailboxes, park benches, and the like were all jumping out of the path of the mad car, slowly moving back into place after they had passed.

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Well, it's a great deal more comfortable than the Knight Bus, Harry thought, as he remained pressed to the generously stuffed back seat. He looked over at Cho, who had a horrified expression plastered on her face.

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"You okay there, Cho?" Harry asked, relaxing as he watched the scenery speed by.

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Cho turned to him and looked at Harry's relaxed expression, exactly the opposite of her panic-stricken one. She gave him a look that screamed "You are CRAZY!" without ever having to open her mouth, snatched her hand back from Harry, then buried her face in her hands and refused to talk to Harry for the rest of the ride.

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Deeming 'convincing-Cho-to-just-look-at-him' as a lost cause, Harry turned his head to watch as they squeezed magically between two cars that had stopped at the traffic light and then grinned happily as he spotted the puzzled face of the old man behind the wheel of the ancient-looking station wagon. Those poor muggles…

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"We're nearly there!" exclaimed Hermione happily from the driver's seat. "And with two minutes to spare. This is great!"

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Harry peered out of the window, trying to figure out where they were. It was noticeably more dirty and cluttered here than the other more prominent parts of London. By the sickly pale yellow glow of the street lamps, he could see trash littered all over the ground, buildings that all seemed to be ancient and in the process of falling apart, and graffiti that clung to the walls with unreadable lettering and leering cartoon faces. As he took all these sights in, Harry began to doubt whether they were headed in the right direction.

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"Er, Hermione, isn't this part of town a bit…run-down?"

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"No. Not at all," replied Hermione nonchalantly. "The club IS called The Grunge, Harry. I for one would definitely NOT be getting my hopes up for a nice classy club that serves martinis and excellent food. No, I'd be surprised if they had glasses that were actually clean, really."

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"Oh. And are we going to be slowing down anytime soon? Seeing as how we're nearly there and all…"

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There was a brief silence in which all that was heard was Hermione grunting while she used one foot to stomp on the brake. Nothing happened. She looked up just in time to swerve to avoid a big truck (Cho got thrown against the car door, despite her seatbelt, and was now fuming) and then went back to the stomping.

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"Bad news," Hermione said frantically after a while. Her eyes were wide and she was sweating nervously, but she still managed to keep her eyes on the road. They appeared to be driving around a particular block of shabby warehouses now, over and over again, never quite slowing down. It was pure luck on their behalf that there were not many people around to witness them driving around and around in circles like madmen. "The brakes…they're not working." It took a moment for her statement to sink in, and when it did, all hell broke loose, courtesy of Cho.

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"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU MEAN, THE BRAKES ARE NOT BLOODY WORKING!?" she sputtered. Her brown eyes were shining brightly with anger, and her fists were clenched into tiny fists. Harry secretly thought she looked rather cute, although he would have died rather than say it out loud when his dearest was in a bad mood.

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"I meant what I said, and I'm not going to waste my time repeating myself when I have better, and not to mention, more obviously important things to do," Hermione hissed, barely containing her frustration. She was fed up with Cho's whining by now, and added on top of the fact that her car was completely out of her control, she felt like she was about to internally combust, starting with her brain and then moving on to her other organs.

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Harry was sitting in his corner of the car (he had had his share of life threatening situations, and now had a bad habit for tuning out whenever something bad was happening), dimly aware of the two fighting women. He was absentmindedly stroking his wand in the pocket of his jeans. (A/N: NO! BAD readers! Naughty thoughts…it's exactly what is written, and there's no dirty second meaning.) Wand, Harry thought. We use wands to do magic…magic…equals spells and the whatnot…WE HAVE SPELLS! Harry sat up abruptly as the idea striked, but unfortunately got choked by his seatbelt and was left gasping for breath. When he had recovered, he had to yell over the bickering of the two witches.

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"Well if YOU hadn't gone and installed something in your car that you obviously DON'T know how to control-"

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"YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO CARPOOL WITH US! Honestly, I'll dump you out right here-"

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"You DON'T know everything, so why don't you bloody well admit that you can't handle this, and-"

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"ENOUGH!" yelled Harry.

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"But Harry-"

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"Honeykins-"

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"Oh, PLEASE, stop with the horrid pet names-"

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"It is NOT horrid. And at least I HAVE a boyfriend-"

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"Will you two PLEASE stop arguing like you're bloody children?" muttered Harry weakly. He was giving up. He was also getting a killer migraine. AND he was terribly fed up. Without thinking at all, he leaned forward in his seat, forcefully grabbed Hermione's head, and yelled in her ear, "You're a WITCH! Use some MAGIC!"

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The grabbing of the Hermione's head was a bad thing to do on Harry's part, because Hermione instinctively let go of the steering wheel. There were a few brief seconds where the car had no driver, and started to deviate from its circular path. But, being the smart-yet-sometimes-rather-dim witch that she was, she had immediately grabbed her wand from her jacket pocket with one hand and clamped the other on the steering wheel. Pointing her wand at the dashboard, she yelled, "PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!"

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The car skidded to a halt, leaving long black marks on the ground. All three passengers were thrown forward quite forcefully, and luckily the three of them still had their seat belts on or they would've flown through the windshield. After the bone jarring stop, they sat there for a while, breathing in deeply to calm their quickened pulses. Hermione was the first to recover, and she slowly raised her head to get a look at their surroundings. She was quite surprised, but also relieved and terribly happy

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"Oh, look at where we are!" she squealed happily

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Harry and Cho both raised their heads to look. Harry grinned when he saw the huge neon green sign loudly stating THE GRUNGE across the street. It seemed that Luck had note been so cruel to them after all, and had parked them right across from their destination.

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Hermione unbuckled her seatbelt and took the keys out of the ignition. Nervously, she held out her wand and said, "Finite Incantatum." Her car remained as still as stone. Grinning happily, she said, "Have to go help the Weasley's now!", waved goodbye to Harry, glared at a sulking Cho, and then bounded across the street.

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Harry sighed. "Well Cho, I'm terribly sorry about…about all the trouble with the car and what not." Dead silence greeted his words. He fumbled with the zipper of his jacket nervously. "I can understand why you're mad, and with all honesty, I can promise you that we'll never hitch a ride with Hermione, ever again." This time he distinctly heard the crickets chirping in the background. Harry could feel the anger seeping into his brain.

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"Look, just because things don't always go your way doesn't mean you have to be so WHINY about it. I mean, honestly, you're a grown woman, and I'm sitting here APOLOGI…zing…Oh bloody hell."

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Harry was staring intently at where Cho was SUPPOSED to be sitting, but all that was there was an empty seat. A feeling of complete idiocy was starting to overcome him. He quickly looked up, and saw her retreating back crossing the street. He looked over at the club and saw a curly haired girl in line for the show that was now waving furiously at Cho. Cho was running directly towards her, and the two girls hugged once Cho got close enough. How she could run let alone walk in her stilettos was completely beyond Harry. He didn't want to think about anything, and definitely not about the state of his relationship with Cho. The whole evening had been so horribly bad. And to think, it had started out so well…

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He sighed. Such was the life of Harry Potter. Things always began so well, but somehow everything managed to end in countless horrid ways that Harry was almost always completely depressed at how things turned out. Oh well. He had gotten used to it all after it had happened to him, oh, nine or ten times. He was seething with pent up emotion. Why did all the bad stuff ALWAYS have to-

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"Stop it, Harry, you're not helping anyone," he told himself. He really needed to be a bit more optimistic. Besides, he had the Weasley's show to look forward to. Nothing could be as fun, unforgettable, AND unpredictable as that. Forcing a slight grin onto his face, he got out of Hermione's car, gave it a little gentle thump on the hood, and made his way over to The Grunge.

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A/N: Ah yes, my little baby of a fanfic. Hopefully with enough time and care I will be able to nurture it into a toddler with many chapters. So! I just watched the 'Oceans 11' DVD. (Absolute genius material, you have to watch it.) And I was like, why don't I combine Harry Potter and this? They're perfect for each other! And this is the product. ::sigh:: Yeah, just bear with me, I SWEAR it'll get better. On another note…

-I have no idea whether Petrificus Totalus works on objects, but that was the only spell I could think of. Just think of the spell freezing all the engine parts so it won't go anymore.

-Yes, I am well aware that the characters in this chapter might be slightly OC, but keep in mind that it has been a couple of years since Hogwarts and that they all have (hopefully) matured with age.

-I also need some suggestions for the name of the Weasley's band (which consists of Ron, Fred, George, and Ginny). Send in the good stuff!

-Oh yeah, and this is Hermione's car: http:www.zephyrus.it/img/auto/wolks.jpg

With all that said, review away!....please. XD


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